Me and My Man Brain
I have but one best friend in the world
And he is not actually a he.
It can be the loveliest thing in the world
When your BFF and the love of your life is a she.
When your bestest friend in the whole wide world
Is the other half of your soul,
You may not be hunting or fishing buds,
Or hang out at y'all's fishin' hole.
But without her you're totally incomplete.
No one to talk to; nobody to share,
Your latest tall tales and jokes with,
Or to pat her upon her firm derriere.
Sadly for us I'm afflicted with man brain.
It's a terminal condition I fear.
It means a brain not very good at networking,
Or maintaining a circle of peers.
Man brains are goal-directed as are our
Expressions of love and affection.
We'll climb mountains, swim rivers that rage.
And cross deserts in unlikely directions.
Every man has the ability to think about nothing,
Sometimes about nothing or double
So when asked, "Whatcha thinking?" we can truthfully say,
Nothing that will get us in trouble.
But we suck at anticipating the needs of our women.
We've never been any good at that.
We never quite know when to offer a foot rub,
Or how to spontaneously say, "You're not fat!"
My poor sweet Baboo now that I am retired,
Receives the brunt of all my man-splainings.
She needs women to talk with about relations and feelings,
Other ears to share man complainings.
I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings it's just
That my style's always been problem-solving.
When she wants me to listen I'm at total loss,
Fidgeting when I'm supposed to be evolving.
I want to be helpful, be wise and very supportive.
To provide like a man I know how to do.
But now in my dotage, what ought I provide?
Most times I haven't a clue.
Women on average live longer than their men.
Why? I can only venture some guesses.
It's a mercy though given the relief it must be
For them not to have to put up with our messes.
© 2024 by Tom King
