Earth Day

What fun we’ll have today. A grand old

Excuse to get back to nature, kick up our heels

On what once was Lenin’s birthday, but now a day

For making people feel guilty about their SUVs.

I remember that grand first Earth Day,

Founded by two senators one Democrat

And one who was Republican.

And a psychotic hippie environmental activist.

Who beat his girlfriend to death, composted her,

Then ran for Europe where they’re more progressive.

We don’t talk about that these days.

Instead we carry on about settled science

And how wonderful it would be if we had

A global government with environmentalist teeth to make

Developed nations, that Bill Nye says should be like Niger

Where they emit less carbon and sixty-one percent are poor,

Where they have the highest infant mortality in the world,

And live 18 fewer years than the rest of us.

And are miserable, dying, exploited, and despairing

Living worse than animals do on an American farm.

So we sing about a future, bright with gulags, tyrants,

Death, poverty, and disease in equal measure.

Misery for all for what we’ve done to the great rock

We Earth day celebrants anthropomorphize as Gaeia.

Friday, April 28, 2017