If You Could Swing on a Star, Would You?

If You Could Swing on a Star, Would You?

If you could roller skate in a buffalo herd,
   Why on Earth would you want to?
If your chewing gum lost its flavor on the bedpost overnight,
   Why did you leave it there in the first place?
If you got tears in your ears from lying on your back, crying your heart out over me,
   Why in the world would you lie on your back to weep?
If you are your own grandpa,
   Perhaps you shouldn't marry widows who are pretty as could be.
If Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
   Maybe you shouldn't let her go out there all alone in the road?
If there's a dead skunk in the middle of the road,
   Why don't you drive around it?
If you're Henery the 8th you am, Henery the 8th you am, you am,
   Why can't you shut up and behead some wives or something and give us all a break?
If they're coming to take you away ha, ha, to the funny farm where life is always beautiful,
   Do they need directions?
                       ....have them give me a call. I can tell them right where you are!

© 2018 by Tom King